I'm applying for a freelance blogging gig and was asked for an "entertaining" cover letter. This is what I came up with.
76 9TH Avenue
New York, NY 10011-4962
To whomever may be reading this,
I was doing my daily Internet analysis, otherwise known as surfing the Internet, when I stumbled onto your ad for college writers. The cover letter templates I’ve seen in my twenty-three years suggest that in the first paragraph, you should briefly discuss why you would be a good fit for the position you’re applying for. In this case, I’ve been to college, eaten some disgusting dining hall food, and showered in stalls that required that I wear sandals, all of which seem to be relevant to the kinds of things college aged kids might need to know about. Plus I’m willing to share about them, as well as whatever else you’d like me to write about, so I think this is a good match.
I’ve written buying guides on just about everything, from turtles to baseball cards, even cars, despite the fact that I hadn’t even gone shopping for my own at the time of publication. One time, I was asked to write a 500 word biography of Sara Bareilles for a music website where I was interning. Then I went to Rutgers, where I discovered that, despite the fact that I might have made more money as an Information Technology major, what I really liked to do was write about myself. Right now, I’m working towards an MFA in nonfiction at The New School in New York, where I’m currently chipping away at a book project about being a minority in an upper middle class Irish neighborhood and the subsequent growing up I did because of it, some of which occurred in college and is worth sharing, or at least I think so.
In any case, I think being as observant as I was in college has made me want to share what I saw. There are times when I wonder how much less awkward those four years might have been if I had something about it to read. Maybe I would have asked that girl I had a crush on out for a cup of coffee, or maybe I would have done a better job of balancing my time. Maybe I would have even learned how to put together a decent meal for myself at the dining hall. Even though it’s too late for me to do any of that, there are plenty of kids who are in the shoes I was once in that could stand to have a little knowledge dropped on them. As insignificant as knowing what not to wear to bed may seem, having been there and done that, I know how important even the minor details are to college students, because nobody wants to wake up in the beginning of September in sweatpants, only to find out that the dorms are not, in fact, air conditioned.
I look forward to discussing the position further with you.